How are you holding up?
I'm finding that I'm actually doing alright, keeping everything in healthy perspective... until someone innocently asks me if I'm "all ready for [the day that will remain nameless]...?"
At which point I seem to go into speedy internal meltdown.
In my case, the meltdown either results in my eating an extra mince pie without it touching the sides, or buying some pointless piece of plastic tat for the kids' stockings or some other 'vital' ingredient to create festive joy, because I've completely forgotten about something else really lovely that I'd already bought when I was sane and organised, and instead, I've disappeared into a vortex of imagining that I don't have 'enough'.
Then I spend the next half an hour trying to gently pull myself back from the resulting self-criticism with a big wadge of self compassion....
The invisible load can be heavy this time of year. It's not surprising that things fall off the list, that we worry more than we need to, or that we lose our rag with those around us.
That internal load is all the data we carry, everything we need to remember, that isn't visible to the human eye, but which weighs on our minds, and bodies...
As mums, it's such a constant, that we barely notice it most of the time.
Right now, it's not just who needs to eat what when, what needs to be avoided to prevent meltdowns...
...what needs to be ready for school, or clubs, or playdates.
It's that extra list of things we need to remember, do, buy, wrap, cook, recycle, clean, share, make, deliver, receive....
It's the weight of managing family relationships, looking out for those in need, scheduling too many events in too little time.
It's the (unrealistic) expectations that we think we need to fulfil.
So this email is here to remind you that yes, you are holding a lot of stuff, and you're doing more than enough.
It's a challenging time of year, and it can be really exhausting. And thankless. And stressful. And sad. (As well as delightful and magical and all of that sparkly stuff of course...)
When things get forgotten or go awry, on the days when you feel more like weeping than hosting a celebration, it doesn't mean that you're a failure, or incapable of organising a teabag get-together in a teapot, it's simply what happens to all of us when we're carrying so much.
You are enough, even if every single thing on your list of 'perfect day' ambitions remains unachieved.
Even if no one has the present they want, and the dinner is burnt, and there's a huge row because the pressure has got to everyone... However many days are spent watching movies on the sofa instead of creating 'perfect unforgettable instagram memories'.
You are still enough.
Because truly, underneath it all, it's all about the love. And you have buckets of that. You don't need to show it with ALL OF THE STUFF. You just need to be it, as you always are. And remember to pour a little bit of that love your way too.
Take some things off your list, take some deep breaths, take some time to look after yourself, you magical brave beautiful woman at the heart of it all.
We see you, we appreciate you, and we know the huge immensity of your love.
PS Something for the new year! Join Pippa and Leif on 19 January for Beautiful Bold Beginnings: A Day Retreat. Tickets and more info here.
PPS If you need them, suggestions for some lovely Sea Soul Blessings gifts below...
SEA SOUL BLESSINGS GIFTS
Midnight on Tuesday 18 December is the last possible time to order Sea Soul Blessings in the UK for delivery in time for [the day that will remain nameless].
When you give a gift of Sea Soul Blessings, you're giving more than a set of pretty cards and a tiny book in a cute box...
You're giving a little box of hope; of courage and compassion.
...That tiny box holds daily reminders that you matter, and encouragement to keep going when it's hard. It empowers change, opening up a pause each day that can connect you to your own needs and desires and help you move towards that. Each blessing reminds you to speak to yourself with kindness, gently clearing another forward step on your path .
So simple, and yet so powerful. All of that beauty, wrapped up in love and magic and sea.
You can buy Sea Soul Blessings here.
Read what other people say about them here.
Day Retreat: Beautiful Bold Beginnings: Join us on Saturday 19 January from 10am to 3pm for a one-off Day Retreat. There will be yoga, delicious food, vision boarding, simple practices to release what no longer serves us, and time to celebrate all we learnt in 2018. Along with lots of creative inspiration to move into 2019 feeling revitalised and clear. We'd love to see you! Learn more and book. (There are just 4 tickets left at the moment).
Monthly Retreat Party: We're not having one this month, so our next monthly #somum Mamas' Retreat Party in Mamas' Everyday Retreat will take place on Wednesday 17 January from 8.30pm to 9.30pm.
Mamas' Everyday Retreat is a safe kind space for mamas to connect and support each other. You can expect much me-time encouragement, compassionate conversation, gentle motivation, and surprise treats.
If you're not already a member, ask to join the group and we'll add you.
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