How often do you say something kind to yourself…?
Loving our children lies at the heart of our mothering. And to truly love others, we need to love ourselves first. So let's write a love letter to ourselves. Share a picture below. Then post it to yourself.
You don’t need to share the contents (although you can if you want - maybe one line you like?), simply show us that you are showing yourself some love. Because you are lovely.
How on earth to write one?? Find some suggestions under 'read more' below.
How do you write a love letter to yourself...?
I have to confess to finding this sort of thing very hard. Which is why I know I need to do it... And I do love the idea of receiving a love letter in the post, on Valentines Day or any day. Here's how to have a go at writing yours.
Find a piece of paper and a pen. Sit in a quiet place where you can hear yourself think for 5-10 minutes
Try some gentle breathing
Take five breaths…
With the first breath, just release your shoulders as you breathe out.
With the second breath, feel the sensations of fresh revitalising air coming in and out of your body
Take your attention to your heart and feel the third breath filling your heart with compassion, and letting go of any negative feelings you don’t want to hold
With the fourth breath breathe in compassion for those around you
With the fifth breath, breathe in compassion for you.
(inspired by Liz Lamoreux’s five breaths…)
Sit down and start to write “Dear me…” and imagine that you are talking to a dear friend: yourself.
Option One: Try some stream of consciousness writing, using “I love your…” as a prompt:
Write down “I love your…” Don’t think too hard about what comes next, just write whatever comes out, don’t judge it. Any time you’re not sure what to write next, just write “I love your…” again and see what follows.
This is stream of consciousness writing, which means that anything goes, and you just keep writing for 5 minutes (or longer if you want to). If you haven’t done this before, it might feel odd, but don’t worry, just keep writing. If you write the same thing over and over again, that’s fine, just keep going until something else comes out. If you get stuck, just write about getting stuck, and keep trying to bring your attention back to that heart full of compassion for yourself until some love for you comes through.
The idea is that this process gets you in touch with your inner voice, that part of you that deeply loves you, but which is often silenced by those other self-critical voices that we have learnt through life. If it feels uncomfortable to be kind to yourself in this way, know that you need it all the more.
Option two: answer some questions
If you prefer a bit of structure, you could try completing the following sentences instead:
I love that you are writing this love-letter to yourself. You are brave and beautiful for doing so, and I love your…..
What I love most about the way you mother is……
What I love most about how you connect with others is……
What I love most about your body is…….
What I love most about your spirit is….
I love how you keep going in spite of …..
I see your…..
I hear your….
The gift that you bring to the world is…
The thing that I would most like to tell you is…..
The thing that I would most like to give you is……
I love you because…
You might have lots of wonderful words that come into your head in answer to these statements. You might struggle to complete these sentences with positive thoughts. Some statements might work better for you than others.
Keep breathing and trying to return to that place of compassion for yourself. If you get really stuck, try option three below.
Option three: keep it simple
If both of the above options seem beyond you, just write “Dear me, I love you, love me” on your paper, stick it in your envelope and send it to yourself.
Because you deserve some love, mama.