Joy Rose shares how rocking out with Housewives on Prozac was how she made sense of motherhood - the chaos, the loss and the love. From a series of Story of M.O.M. stories collected for our exhibition Story of Mum: Mums making an exhibition of ourselves by Christina Douyon for the Museum of Motherhood.
I began playing music with my rock band Housewives On Prozac in 1997, as I looked for words and tunes to describe the chaos, love and loss of becoming a mother.
The chaos was because I had four kids under the age of five. I was sick with Lupus (brought on by pregnancy) and I was looking for ways to survive.
The love part almost doesn't have words. It only has music. It's the kind of cosmic music that plays on the heartstrings of God every time a spirit incarnates and a mother is born.
My 'Mother-self' was born the day my children were born. First I was one. Then two. Then many. Connected in ways I never imagined.
The loss was the loss of my solo-self. The loss of my former life; of thinness giving way to softness, softness giving way to otherness and otherness ultimately giving way to the destruction of all I was before.
Maybe because I was sick, everything was much more dramatic. But, the point is, something often dies to make way for something new and the new me, is here because of my children and everything they represent.
By the way - I love my fuller, riper, rounder self, because my children have made me a bigger (and better) human being!
What advice do you have for a new mother?
Go to therapy for a minimum of 2 years before becoming pregnant. Make sure you are basically well in your head, and that you want to become a parent for the 'right' reasons.
Be thoughtful about the process. Become educated. Read books. Talk to people. Join a support group.
While you are pregnant listen to music and do yoga. Pray a lot. Talk to your higher-self, then talk to your baby to be.
Take a women and gender studies course at a local university. Visit the Museum of Motherhood online and in New York City and hold on for the ride.
Joy Rose is currently the acting director and curator for the first ever Museum of Motherhood in NYC. MOMmuseum.org
This post was collected by the Museum of Motherhood (M.O.M) in New York, partners in our online and touring exhibition Story of Mum: Mums making an exhibition of ourselves. You can add your ownI'm a mum and a... photo here.
And if you'd like to host a virtual exhibition tour stop on your website, we'd love to have you - just let us know!