Etched in my heart

When you have children you realize how fast time flies. In the blink of an eye, your little baby is 9 years old and having long discussions/arguments about her rights!! Little Nugget is 9 and a half and loves to debate her rights with me. She doesn’t understand why she does not have any authority over her father and me. She also wants a say in everything. I don’t get it; just yesterday I was changing her diapers and figuring out how to start her off on solids!

It all feels like a blur sometimes and I worry about forgetting all the special moments. I realized though that etched in my heart is her little face peeking over the bumper pad in her crib. She was almost 9 months old and would wake up and make noise for me to come and get her. Every time I walked in the room, her smiling, dancing, sparkling eyes peeking over waiting for me to pick her up. I remember it vividly.

Mini Nugget is now 1 and a half and is a tiny tornado running around the house. She has quite the character and the brightest smile. It feels like I went into labor just the other day and now she is walking and talking and also expressing her opinions. In her own way she too is questioning our authority and thinking she can dupe us into giving her what she wants! Always etched in my heart will be her image walking into the house one day (after an outing with Daddy) holding out a big bouquet of flowers (bigger than she is) and stumbling her way over to me while calling out Mamma! She gave me the flowers and said Thank you (Tantoo).

I don’t want time to fly by and I don’t want to forget. Filming them doesn’t feel enough. I want to hold on to their little bodies snuggled into me, the sound of their baby talk, the soft baby smell…. you understand what I mean.

I find that having these specific memories etched in my heart will let me hold on to a piece of their childhood and when I think of those images, thankfully, they seem to bring on more memories.

I breathe a sigh of relief, at least I won’t forget....