How are you, my love?
Take a moment to pause, to breathe in some time for you, and to think.
Where is the magic in your days right now?
Is magic hard to find, or does it come more easily to you in motherhood?
The reason that this monthly email is late, (sorry!) is because I've been taking time to notice where the magic is for me right now.
We don’t often give ourselves time to stop and tap into our everyday magic, to notice what we want. Well, I've been watching and listening and taking notes...
And right now, for me, there is magic in spending time with my children away from my computer, in early nights and boundary-setting, both for them and for me.
There is magic in letting myself cry, in heaving sobs. And magic in my laughter at the dance up the stairs with washing in my arms, dodging children. There is magic in taking good care of me when the moon is black and my emotions are strong.
Finding the magic in mamahood
She got me thinking about the magic that I carry with me - that we all carry, as mothers.
So often we don't pay attention to it. Or see the power that we have.
Instead, we tend to accept society's messages that mothering is somehow lesser. That those things we do every day, to shape and empower the next generation, don't have worth.
And we are simply so busy being mothers, doing this vital everyday work, that we don't have the time to stop and shout - and remind each other, and ourselves, of our strength.
Well you are powerful, and you are magic, even when you feel anything but.
And I know it can be hard to find the magic in mothering. It can feel impossible to value the relentless challenging beautiful offering we make daily to the world. Especially when it feels like no one else does.
But even on the days when I am weeping and questioning and feeling like I've got it all wrong, I know that magic is there, somewhere, in me.
This experience of immense love, as a mother, imprints me, and you, with magic.
We just have to look for it.
Easier said than done. But possible.
(And unicorn notes from my daughter always help...)
Even on those dark days, listen to the voice deep inside you, that says
No, you've got this.
This is hard. But you can survive this.
You are a mother. Step into your power.
We all have this power in us, this knowing voice. It may be very quiet right now, squashed by a culture that doesn’t hear it or value it. But it’s there. And it isn't only there to help you with your mothering. It's there for life.
To find it, we simply need to pause, and breathe, and think:
What do I want? What is my intention right now?
Your answer may simply be - to survive this.
To get up again tomorrow. To support my child. To breathe until I calm down.
Whatever it is - the more we make time to ask ourselves that question, the greater our connection to that quiet voice becomes.
...and what is the first thing I can do to help me get there?
The next step is always an action, a small move forward. Bravery, resilience, hope, faith, love - all wrapped up in that one choice. We're experts in shifting, in being creative in the moment - as mothers, we adjust to change hundreds of times a day. And when we direct those skills and give our full attention to something that we really want, parenting magic (and really, all magic in life) happens.
That's not to say that we always get what we want. At least not exactly. Or that magic necessarily happens in quite the way we expected. That's especially true when what we want is something out of our control, or if we want to change someone else.
But if we want to set an intention for ourselves, our feelings, our reactions, and choices - that, in turn, can impact others.
It requires a big dose of mindfulness to remember your power and magic, especially on the bad days.
And practice. A lot of practice.
It requires alertness - and that's not a quality that we typically associate with our addled mama brains! And yet again, we forget that we are constantly alert - to our children's needs, to danger, to safety. We can learn to be alert to our own needs too.
And the most effective kind of magic requires the occasional exotic cauldron ingredient like very good dark chocolate.
(As an odd but relevant aside, have you ever tried to open a stuck jar lid by planting your feet firmly on the ground, taking a deep breath to feel the energy coming up through your feet - bear with me - and then deciding to direct all that energy into turning the lid? I've done this several times now, and it has astonished me by working every time - have a go, and let me know how you get on...!)
Magic Mama Wands
With magic on our minds, at our last Mamas' Retreat, we gave ourselves that space to think about what we really wanted.
We made Magic Mama Wands together as a way to tend to our intentions.
There are all sorts of ways to make a wand, so be as free as like with the process...
The most important thing is to have a clear intention in mind as you create it.
It might be finding greater resilience, patience, a clearer house, a more loving connection, the courage to pursue something new, or something altogether different.
Spend time connecting with that inner quiet voice as you start. Notice what kind of stick you are drawn to. Think of what you want as you sand it down or embrace its bumps and lichen. Try to remind yourself of your power as you smooth essential oils that smell wonderful into the wood, and decorate it with precious stones, colourful thread, feathers, wire and beads that sing to you.
When it's ready, hold your magic mama wand and feel the strength of your intention, focused, clear, directed.
And from them on, think of your wand as a visual reminder of your power, of what you want next. Of your magic.
You can see some of the wands we made together, and find out more about how to make one over here.
And whether you choose to make a wand or not, you deserve and need the time to ask that quiet voice, what do you really want?
What happened last month?
I wrote a flurry of blog posts as the school holidays came to an end!
You can read my best family activity tip - a stroke of parenting genius that got me through the last few days of the school holidays, and which magically tidied my house.
I also shared our experience of having our second 'yes day' as a family - which was frankly terrifying, and got me doing things I would never have chosen to attempt on my own. It was sweaty and shaky, and also kind of awesome.
Mamas' Everyday Retreat
We extended into a new facebook home, and we've settled in nicely!
Mamas' Everyday Retreat is a private facebook group for our community of open-hearted mamas, and you are invited to join us there if you haven't already. Just click on the link, and request to join.
It's a safe kind space for mamas of all ages to connect and share our gloss-free mama stories. Expect me-time encouragement, compassionate conversation, gentle motivation, kindness, laughter, and of course, a little big of magic.
Last month, we had our #somum Mamas' Retreat in this space, and it worked really well! So we'll be doing that again this month - come and join us on Wednesday 12th October from 8.30pm to 10pm for inspiring questions and honest supportive conversation.
We might even make wands out of whatever we can find around the house, you never know...
How else can we help you?
I'm loving supporting mums one to one - there is such magic and joy to be found in helping mothers - and so many powerful ways to hold that space and reflect together.
And so I am looking for two more lovely coaching clients to work with. Can I help you right now?
- Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed and a little lost, unsure how to reconnect to this inner magic I've been banging on about... You wish you could make time for yourself without feeling guilty about it, and want to feel stronger and happier, as well as clearer about who you are and where you're going.
- Or maybe you're already poised to take a leap towards a big life change, but you're in need of some support to build the self-confidence and clear practical plan you need to make the jump - and you want to make sure you've installed the right landing equipment before you leap...
Wherever you are right now, I'm always happy to have a 15 minute chat to find out more about what you need and whether I can help. Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or reply to this email and we can set up a time.
New ecourse plans in the pipeline!
Inspired by some of the conversations we've been having in Mamas' Everyday Retreat, we've started to develop a new e-course for Productive SuperMamas.
Yes, that's supermamas who want to look EXACTLY like WonderMama in my scribbled doodle there...
Or at least to feel more efficient and calm and remember where they put their phone, for a start...
As productive mums who manage to juggle a lot of plates and keep smiling (most of the time), we'd love to share some of our knowledge and experience. And use it to help exhausted mamas feel more positive, calm and organised.
So right now, we’re gathering our best tips and tools for getting stuff done, along with some mindset shifting techniques. For the plate juggling, there will be practical tools to help you be more effective. And for the smile: support to set realistic goals and appreciate all that you do well.
It's still early days, so we're all over-excited!
How can you help us?
We've created a facebook poll to find out more about what you would like from an ecourse like this.
So if the idea of super productivity and realistic expectations appeals, take a moment to visit the poll and tick the elements that sound good to you.
Your thoughts will help us to develop an experience that can really help mamas like you. Thank you!
And now, the magic of my lovely duvet and twinkly bed-lights awaits me...
Don't lose faith in your power. You are magic, just as you are.
Much love and intentional wand sparks,
Pippa and Penny xx
PS email Pippa if you'd like to find out more about one to one support.
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